Sunday, April 17, 2011

Writing; let's see if what comes out makes sense.

Yep, so, I want to make a habit of writing my thoughts down and having them MAKE SENSE. This may be a challenge for me. I'm not entirely spaghetti-brained (A tv OH LOOK a remote OH LOOK buttons PRESS THE BUTTONS... basically) but I do have a tendency to get VERY off topic.
I tend to gravitate towards lyrics. I, at my core, just want to connect to people. I'm figuring out what that means more and more, but if music is the language of the soul, then it makes sense that I gravitate towards songs and their messages. We're heavenly beings inside and earthly, mortal shell having a mortal experience, but at our core we're still beings of light, unless we give ourself to the Devil. Everyone has the light of Christ inside.
So everyone has a soul.
If everyone has a soul, and everyone's souls can connect with music, which is their language, then no wonder everyone likes music. I'm not exactly one to get around physically, but never have I met someone in person or virtually that dislikes all music. Rap, yes. Country, yes. Pop, yes. All music with all of its flavors and genres and etc? No. If I do, then I'm going to study this person intently, because I want to know what it is about them that makes them dislike music.
And if said person doesn't like the language of souls, of spirits, do they also not like souls/spirits themselves?

It's been said that I'm a very weird person. Well, honestly, I don't really care. I'm myself, that's good enough for God, that's good enough for those that love me, and while I'm always trying to improve, that's good enough for me as well.
This begs the question, what of the people who aren't liked? If you attract things that have the same amount of light as you, or similar light, and you attract people who're nearly surviving with the lights out, what does that say about you? Your character? Your very being?
Are you a creature of both worlds, of light and dark, or are you a creature of light living in a shadow?
Was I that person? Back when I was still in the addiction?
Nay. Every so often I would have a thought burst in that said "I should not be in this. I'm too good to do this."
I dislike vanity. I really do. I want to be humble. I wish I was more humble.
Being humble, however, isn't being powerless. Meek is not weak. I'm not saying I'm overly powerful or extremely awesome because of that thought I had. I don't want to come across as vain, either.
YET. I have the friends that I have, and we attract the same light that we have inside. I have extremely powerful friends. Madi, Cameron, Kirsten, Hilton, Josh, Lacy... they're all powerful beyond measure. And while I may not be quite to that level yet, I'm working at it. I apparently have some part of that inside of me, so yes, I am powerful. The part of me inside, the soul, broke out every so often and said "GET OUT OF THIS, I'M DYING IN HERE". A few minutes ago, I didn't see that. Now I do.
I'm weird because I'm not afraid to be myself online. I'm usually a quiet, nonchalant, controlled person. Then you get me online and I say things like "ohyes" "I love you!" "YOU'RE AMAZING" and I write posts like this one and the one previous, and I'm an entirely different person, it seems like.
If I have to be weird to be myself, so be it. Maybe your perception of weird or mine of normal is flawed in the first place. We are, after all, every one of us a child of God.

Well, that made sense, hopefully, now if I could only figure out what my message was. Be yourself and don't apologize; if you're following God's commandments, if you're causing many more true smiles than tears, if you're lifting instead of dragging down, then it would seem to me that you're a good man or woman.
Be yourself - but be the you God meant you to be.