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Sunday, January 30, 2011

I'm With You

Another Linkin Park's songs lyrics, or a part of the song:


Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

How often does fear make us fall? It's one reason I haven't been posting here, on this blog. I'm so scared to share the Gospel and be mocked for what I believe that I don't bring it up often. I'm afraid to do so, because I don't want my mind to be changed. I'm absolutely certain that what I know to be truth is truth. But I know that I'm rather lacking in the area of self-discipline right now, so my opinion can be swayed unfortunately easily. I don't want to lose what I believe in confusion in the other truths in different religions.
I honestly believe that every religion has a bit of truth. A cut out of the whole picture.

And asking me not to talk about the Gospel defeats the point of this blog. I'm living it.


Saturday, January 29, 2011

I feel prompted to post this.

It's from a secret blog that you won't know about aside from this post, where I put down exactly what I'm feeling.

Here are lyrics to a Linkin Park song. Think of them at first as if he's talking about a relationship between two people; a man and a woman. Common relationship issues, maybe.

Read them.


Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them
Sometimes I wonder why this is happening
It's like nothing I can do would distract me when
I think of how I shot myself in the back again
'Cause from the infinite words I could say I
Put all pain you gave to me on display
But didn't realize instead of setting it free I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me

(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)

[Chorus]
(And now)
(You've become a part of me)
(You'll always be right here)
(You've become a part of me)
(You'll always be my fear)
(I can't separate)
(Myself from what I've done)
(Giving up a part of me)
(I've let myself become you
)

Hearing your name the memories come back again
I remember when it started happening
I see you in every thought I had and then
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them
And I knew as they escaped away
I was committing myself to them and everyday
I regret saying those things cuz now I see that I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me


(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)

[Chorus]
(And now)
(You've become a part of me)
(You'll always be right here)
(You've become a part of me)
(You'll always be my fear)
(I can't separate)
(Myself from what I've done)
(Giving up a part of me)
(I've let myself become you)

(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)
(Never goes away)

(Get away from me)
Give me my space back you gotta just
(Go)
Everything comes down the memories of
(You)
I've kept it in but now I'm letting you
(Know)
I let you go so get away from
(Me)
Give me my space back you gotta just
(Go)
Everything comes down the memories of
(You)
I've kept it but now I'm letting you
(Know)
I let you go

(And now)
(You've become a part of me)
(You'll always be right here)
(You've become a part of me)
(You'll always be my fear)
(I can't separate)
(Myself from what I've done)
(Giving up a part of me)
(I've let myself become you)

I've let myself become you
I've let myself become lost inside these thoughts of you
Giving up a part of me, I've let myself become you

Now look at them as if the singer (Mike Shinoda) is talking about Satan.

So what am I saying here?

Addictions. Looking at or hearing or paying any sort of attention to pornography or the affects of drugs and how the high can make you feel is extremely dangerous. Our minds are like a hard drive.

Have you ever truly erased something on a hard drive? My uncle bought a few HDD's a while back and had access to a machine with a Military grade data eraser on it. When he ran the file checker, it founds bits and pieces of the data still there.

Our minds are like this. When we look at something or hear something or experience something addictive, it stays with us.

Fighting it is hard. It's extremely hard, and anyone that tells you different is either lying or hasn't really been addicted. How do I know this?

Because I'm addicted to something. It's karking hard to break, but I'm not giving up. I won't give up, ever, because I know I have this weakness to better myself.

I won't let this become any more a part of me than it already is. The thoughts inside my head aren't the thoughts I should be having. I'm recognizing this now: I need to change my thoughts, and I've been given the upbringing to know how to do so.

Nephi said that God will never give us something that we cannot beat. Faith doesn't make things easy. It makes things possible. Like repentance. So what do we need? Faith and courage and a strong will to break what we're bound to.


Thinking about your failures, every time you failed to break the addiction entirely, isn't something I'd recommend. If you do it at all, use it as a tool to spurn yourself forward, not a tool to bring yourself down. That's Satan's job; to bring us down lower than what we are.


What are we? We are spiritual Sons and Daughters of God. A loving and eternal Father in Heaven that knows our needs and wants and fears and hopes. Including the hope and want to break an addiction. He's there for us, always.

So what's my point?

Addictions become parts of us.
Through faith and repentence and a firm relience on Him and His Gospel, we can break it. I've tried it without Him. I lasted two days. I tried it with Him. I lasted three weeks and even had withdrawls. I'm at the point where I'm looking forward to having those withdrawls again, because that means I'm CLOSER to BREAKING the addiction instead of being a slave to it for forever.

I'm not going to apologize on my blog. If you aren't interested in what I have to say, don't follow me. If it seemed rambly, oh well. At least these thoughts are out of my head and into pixels. By putting them into pixels, I'm saying that they're important to someone. In this case, myself.

-Jordan

Monday, January 24, 2011

If you could live anywhere on earth for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Er. Wherever I have internet.

Ask me anything

Thursday, January 20, 2011

A blog post!? From ME!?

Astounding, isn't it. I found a really old version of a draft I'd printed out in a little blue binder in my bedroom when I was looking for something to read. The grammar was so bad that I had to stop at page 11. I read most of the version I was working on this morning, and the difference was amazing. AMAZING.
I don't want to brag. I dislike it when people brag. Anyway, my writing has gone up a lot in skill since I started.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

That #Archons mess, what do you think should be done about them?

Ugh. I support Trek RPers, (as I am one) but there's a point where they go way too far. I heard a speech once about not getting offended at what other people say, and honestly I think they need to read the same thing.
And you're a tabloid. Seriously, TABLOID. You're doing your job, in my opinion, and if they can't take a joke, that's their problem - but going after legal solutions to do so is taking it too far.

Ask me anything

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hiya! My friend told me about this website that gives away a $1,000 Best Buy Gift Card and they let you to keep it for FREE! All I did was submit my eMail address and it came via FedEx 5-6 days later! Score yours today before they halt this giveaway: http

I love how the URL is cut off.

Ask me anything

$1,000 Best Buy Gift Card! FREE! http://slurl4.com/83d143

NO way. I didn't know this was spam! I NEVER would've guessed. XD

Ask me anything

wow there are giving away best buy gift cards to college students http://shorten.ws/1c2ffc

-_-

Ask me anything

If you could do anything, right now, what would you do?

*noms food* <<<

Ask me anything

cant believe i just got a best buy gift card from these guys http://www.bitly.nl/7e4be8

NOWAI. Danged spammers.

Ask me anything

What do you consider romantic?

Eh. Going to see a sunset.

Ask me anything

If you were asked to describe yourself, what would you say about the kind of person you are? How about how you look?

Physically: Slightly slouched wild-haired teenage-boy with large ears. Personality-wise: Calm (usually), a bit nonchalant (unfortunately), and somewhat funny.

Ask me anything

What do you do to relax after a bad day?

Get onto twitter. xD

Ask me anything

Monday, January 10, 2011

hello babe are you a member of any other socialnetworking website?

LOL. Er.

Ask me anything

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

RPing

RP rant. Disregard if you don't RP or know what I'm talking about.

So many characters I've seen on Twitter RP do /not/ live up to the character they're portraying. Yes, part of the fun of RPing is /being/ that character and making a few twists of your own on it, but there's the integrity of the character that I feel is sometimes killed off.
Examples:
Jar-Jar binks wouldn't launch into an in-character swear-riddled rant about how Anakin was being a punk.
Harry Kim wouldn't willingly launching himself into a bar fight. Not MU Harry Kim, the NORMAL Harry Kim. That's something Tom Paris might do, but not Harry.

Those aren't real situations that I've seen, but I've seen some involving real characters that have definitely made my eyebrows raise.